Loneliness and Amelie

You know that french movie about a girl named Amelie, who does good deeds to make people happy? In that movie, every new character is introduced with a description of small likes and dislikes in the form of little quirks of this character.
I think I know what my likes would be described as. I like eavesdropping at small parts of strangers conversations; I simply love it, sometimes these conversations can make up whole stories about lives... Another liking of mine is to pour myself a giant cup of really hot tea, and then wait until just a while before it goes cold before I drink it. I love doing that as well... Then the tea gets all the flavour it should have, and I get to drink it without burning my tounge...

Something I really hate, though, is being lonely. It´s wonderful being by myself, but lonely is a whole other story. And right now, for example, I am fucking lonely. I was even more lonely an hour ago, before I reached a friend who could just talk to me for a while... now, my eyes are still all red and puffy but I don´t have the same urge to cry anymore...

My grand mother died. My friend´s father died. My other friend´s kitten died. And a man from His childhood died as well. And a third friend´s great aunt. All in the same week. I think one of my friends might have a problem with alcohol, and I don´t want to see someone I love going through that again. I´ve had enough. I haven´t been outside the door for a couple of days now; I´m sick and don´t really have anyone to accompany me here. As always. Noone here. And I SO miss his hughs and his good night kisses... I can´t wait until these weeks have gone, so that I can get a good hugh again. The sad thing is that it will be combined with a funeral, but I´ll be glad to attend that too, since I missed one once, and it still hurts from time to time, even if that was more than two years ago...

Things just really aches right now... not only things, but also my head. It sucks.